CONFESSIONS OF A BAR FLUNKER

It has been told a million times over that once a law student graduates from law school, the student already earned the letters "ATTY". One letter earned after completing one year in Law School; the one missing is that elusive "dot" or "." to complete the shortened title of Attorney.

I graduated from Law School last May 2017.

I took the Bar last November of 2017.

The Bar Results were released April 26, 2018.

More than 6,000 bar examinees were hopeful to catch that elusive "dot"; it was revealed in the morning that only 25.55% passed the bar exams.

The list of the Top 20 were initially released.

At around 1:00 pm, the official list were posted and were flashed before a big LED board in the Supreme Court Compound.

As the names started to flash starting with those family names starting with A; you could hear the shouts and cheers of those well-wishers and actual bar examinees who successfully passed the exam. For every scream and shouts heard, media members will automatically surround and crowd the bar passer; for sure they will become viral and be shown in National TV later that day (2 of blocmates became viral that day)

So the list goes on, slowly but surely, the Family Names starting with P,R,S,T started to flash; my heart started to pound because of nervousness, anxiety and excitement all at once.

U, V, W, X...

Then all the passers with Family Names starting Y and Z were flashed.

Ydia, Ronald Allan De Guzman was not in the list.

I failed.

I was not part of the 1,728 or 25.55% who passed the so-called #BersaminBattle.

I was not able to get that elusive "dot".

If I probably had the superpowers of Doctor Strange, I would've magically inserted my name in the list but I can't do it, I am neither a member of an Avengers nor am I a ridiculously-good looking Marvel Character.

I was obviously disappointed with the result but I prayed earlier that day that aside from passing the Bar, I would like God to give me the strength the accept the result if it turned out to be negative. My fiance and I went to 4 churches (Edsa Shrine, Sto. Domingo, Quiapo Church and St. Jude) before going to the Supreme Court; When we were at the Sto. Domingo Church, I felt that my mind and my heart is at ease that whatever the result maybe, I would accept it.

After learning that I failed the Bar, I immediately texted my Mom. I also informed my Boss, my officemates and other well-wishers who messaged me during the morning and those who were with me during my Bar Exam Journey.

I didn't shed a single tear when I was at the SC compound but my fiance was crying the whole time, offering me words of encouragement which I am extremely grateful for; I congratulated my law school friends and blocmates who made it and afterwards, my fiance and I left to go to Baclaran Church as planned; we planned when we were in Quiapo Church, that whatever the result maybe, we will go to Baclaran Church to pray.

While riding the LRT going to the Baclaran Church, my mother was calling me via FB messenger but I let Grace answered the phone for me because I was not ready to talk to my mom that time, I was ashamed because I felt that I didn't made my mother proud.

But due to the insistence of Grace, I talked to my mom and I heard the voice of my mom with a cheerful tone, she said that it is ok because I can still retake the Bar Exams this coming November and I that I must not give up.

Right then and there, It finally sink-in and I felt a sudden rush of emotions as I was trying to fight back my tears; it didn't help that my family kept giving me messages of support saying that in their eyes, I am already a lawyer;

I kept my composure throughout that LRT ride until we reached Baclaran Church; I prayed to the Lord that I Trust His Plan and that I am still thankful because despite failing the Bar Exams, He still continuously shower us with His Blessings and that I am lucky that I have a loving and supportive family who always have my back.

Later that night, when I was about to take a shower before going to sleep, that was when tears were uncontrollably fell through my face. Thankfully I was not bawling like a kid throwing a tantrum.

If this happened to me when I was a lot younger, I would have doubted the authenticity of the results because I know that I have poured my blood,sweat and tears to prepare for the Bar Exams. I would have laughed at those who passed because back in Law School, I know I was better than them. In short, I will be sour-graping.

Thank God, it was not that case.

I congratulated my friends who passed via FB Messenger and Viber; some in an attempt to probably console me and make me feel better, told me that I was better than half of those who passed the exams and that they were just lucky to pass the exams; I simply replied, "It is not just my time and that this is their time to fulfill their dreams of becoming a lawyer".

For full disclosure, I only felt a tinge of envy when my friends posted their pictures during the oath-taking ceremonies as well as the roll-signing; I wished I was also took the oath at the PICC and signed at the Lawyers Roll.

But for now, I have to lick my wounds and dust-off the negativity because I will try again to take the Bar Exams this 2018.

Hopefully this time, I would be able to get that elusive "dot"

CAN WORKING STUDENTS SURVIVE LAW SCHOOL?

To answer the question right of the bat, OF COURSE THEY CAN!

This is my tribute to all working students who toiled their way in surviving law school while also going to the usual "8-5pm" work routine. I have my utmost respect to you guys! Kudos!

I am fortunate to have a supportive Mom who pays for my tuition fees in Law School, gives me my weekly allowance and all of my daily needs and wants. (Thanks Ma, you're the best!)

There were times that I realized that I am privileged to able to enroll in Law School without ever spending a single centavo out of my own pocket. That my only job is to study hard so that all the hardwork of my mother in paying for all my law school expenses will be all worth it.

Allow me to share my story when I became a "legitimate" working student for the first time.

Last June 27, 2016, I had my first experience being a "legitimate employee".  It was my first time to sign up for membership for PhilHealth, SSS and Pag-ibig. Moreover, it was also my first time to sign an employment contract with contract stipulations regarding probationary status, regularization, leaves among others; my previous work experiences were only mostly project-based, only good for 2-3 months.

Being a working student is new to me, so when the readers of my blog would ask if a working student can survive law school, I would tell a story about my friends and acquaintances who are living testament that a working student could thrive and survive Law School. Before, I don't have a personal knowledge regarding the matter. However, that all changed.

As I only have 7 subjects left in order to graduate in Law School, I decided to look for a job.

I applied in a law firm in Makati named Marisol Caneja and Associates Law Office. The firm specializes in corporate law. All of its clients are foreign companies which were established in Malaysia and Singapore. Those companies would like to expand their operations here in the Philippines and avail of the benefits of being a registered enterprise in the Philippine Economic Zone (PEZA)

Fortunately, there was a vacancy in the Firm and it doesn't hurt that the owner of the Law Office is an alumna of my Law School Organization in San Beda. In short, I was hired.

PREPARING FOR CLASS RECITATIONS AND EXAMS

Two of the common struggles of a working student is how to prepare for the daily class recitations and how to study during examination week.

The first few months were tough because I am not used to going to office at 9 am and I have barely enough time to prepare for the class recitations. Luckily, my boss, Atty. Marisol Caneja, is kind enough to allows the working students to leave the office 3 hours before our scheduled class to have time to travel to school and prepare for class.

The travel to Alabang from Makati is not that hard because of the Point-to-point (P2P) Bus Service from Greenbelt 1 to Alabang Town Center. My travel time from Makati to San Beda Alabang takes about 30-45 minutes.

The arrangement in the office is so favorable to working students like me. I am fortunate that the firm measures the performance of their employees through the quality of their output. The philosophy of our boss is that what's the use of an employee who goes to work from 9am to 6pm if his work output is poor.

I have friends who work in call centers; they go straight to work after attending classes. I admire them because they only take short naps to catch up the necessary sleeping hours. They study for about 30-40 minutes in the Library and they take a short nap afterwards.

Those short naps will be shorten or even negated when there is Examination week. I have friends who only had 1 hour of sleep just to try to finish all their backlogs. They don't take work leaves because they only have at least 5 of those every year.

Here again lies a big difference from my employer to the other employers; our Boss is kind enough for us to take work leaves for the entire week for us to have enough time to prepare for the exams. The best thing is those leaves are not charged to our 5 work leaves allotted to us every year.

Maybe I am not the best person to share how working students can excel in Law school despite their busy schedules but I would like to share the Valedictory Speech of Carlos Hernandez from UP College of Law.

He works from 7 am to 4 pm and reads his reading assignments inside the MRT, Jeepney and other public commute (That's what you call dedication!) He is truly an inspiration; his speech also shares the experiences of his friends and blockmates in Law School who were also working students.

Another prominent working Law Student is Kenneth Manuel, the one behind the famous "Your Lawyer Says" Account in Social Media. He is a Certified Public Accountant and has a day job at the same time is enrolled as a full-time student in UST Faculty of Civil Law. Being a working student did not deter him from excelling in class as he is a consistent Dean's Lister in Law.

He once posted using the Your Lawyer Says that studying in Law School would be more fun if it is without the financial pressure. He added that the students whose tuition fees are paid by their parents are lucky and privileged.

Those are a few of the success stories in Law school regarding working students who survived Law School. I am sure you there are a lot of them in Law school. Law students who came from different walks in life but united by the same dream and that is to become a lawyer.

So if you are planning to enroll in law school but is thinking twice on whether you can manage to work and study at the same, the answer is, YES.

YES YOU CAN.

HOW BARNEY AND SHELDON HELPED ME OVERCOME HOMOPHOBIA

I must admit.

When I was in High School, I was afraid to be associated with gays.

I don't really hate them but I just don't want to be seen with them. The reason being is that I might get mocked by my other friends. I viewed the 'third sex' as a weakness or worse, sickness that is akin to a contagious disease. I picture gay men as sex-hungry individuals who are just waiting for their unknowing prey in order to satisfy their prurient interest.

That was then. 

That kind of change when I went to college. The time when I lived in a dormitory.

During my time, we had the largest contingent of new freshmen who lived in the dorm. We outnumbered the upper batch residing in the dorm.

Living in a dormitory taught me how to interact with other people who came from provinces all over the Philippines.

I befriended all of my dormates. Straight, weird ones, Closet ones and even the gay ones. I learned that interacting with them is not that bad at all. It also helped that most of my professors in the Humanities Department are members of LBGT. I was slowly shedding off my 'homophobic' self.

However, the real game changer for me was when the actors who played my favorite TV series characters Barney (Neil Patrick Harris) and Dr. Sheldon Cooper (Jim Parsons) were actually gay men in real life. 

Knowing how they are in a long-term relationship with their partners warms my heart. The news that Neil Patrick Harris and his partner David Burtka adopted a baby further erased any doubts of my earlier prejudices about the gay community. 

Same thing with Jim Parsons.

Barney and Dr. Sheldon Cooper are my two favorite TV characters because of their wit, charm and appeal. The former is Legen *wait for it* *that's right* dary! while the latter is a scientist who is so smart that he probably knows every trivia there is to know.

I thought to myself that it would make me some sort of hypocrite if I despised gay men but love the characters of Barney and Sheldon Cooper. It opened my mind that I shouldn't be putting gay men in such a bad light.

Actually this post has been on my drafts folder for over a year now.  I tried to finish this in light of the tragic event that transpired at Orlando.

50 innocent lives were brutally murdered by deranged gunman. The crime can also be considered as a "hate crime" as all of the victims are members of the LGBT Community. As the story was developing, it was discovered that the gunman was actually a closeted gay.

We now live in the modern world. We should be moving forward and not going backward in the moral front.

Yes, members of the LGBT Community are different in a way that they want to live their lives. But, it does not give any other person the right or the duty to inflict bodily harm or violence towards them because of that difference.

Hate crimes like any other crimes should not be tolerated. Some say the problem is the enforcement of gun control laws.

I beg to differ.

I don't own a gun and I have no intentions of buying one in the foreseeable future.

But I don't think guns are the problem. A criminal will use any tool he could use in order to successfully execute his criminal activity. A gun is a mere tool.

A gun couldn't kill a person if it is just lying around the table. However, a person who has no moral compass could use the gun to kill another person.  I agree with most of the articles I read in the internet that mental illness is a bigger concern than gun control laws.

Going back to the earlier topic, members of the LGBT Community are also humans. It is senseless to inflict, ridicule, harm or violence on them because they are members of such community.

We are all humans, Let us treat each other as humans. 

Circle of Life

The life of man is really interesting.

You start as a baby, oblivious to the realities of life, can barely walk, can't intelligibly speak and really needs nurturing.

As soon as the man grows up, given the proper care and nutrition; he could speak clearly, can now walk or even run.

Fast forward to a man in the latter stages of his life. He goes back to phase 1. He can barely walk, can't speak and hear well and would find difficulty walking around.

I saw this first-hand when I personally took care of my 57-year old uncle during my Christmas break. 

He has undergone numerous surgeries a year ago. He had a brain surgery to remove the water which is accumulating in his brain. He stayed in the ICU for almost a month. He couldn't speak after the operation because he also had a surgery in his throat to clear the passage of air and phlegm. 

It was painful to see him that way knowing that during the prime of his years, he was stocky big fellow. He loves to shares stories, he loves to joke around. You could recognize his voice when you are inside the room even with a lot of people because he has a booming voice. The kind of voice that would let you sit back and listen to. I rarely saw him sad. The one event when I saw him sad was when his wife, Auntie Nora, succumbed to stage IV breast cancer.

He tried to go back to work as the MTC Clerk of Court in Baguio as early as June of this year. He walks around the office with a cane. His hearing was a little off because of all the medications he has to take. The doctors told him that it was the natural side-effect. He can now speak. Though, he could no longer drive, he has his trusted aide to drive him to work.

I thought his recovery would go smoothly as possible. 

For some reasons I wouldn't know, he basically became deaf. Even with 2 state of the art hearing aids couldn't help his hearing. He could no longer walk even with the cane or walker.

Hope he could still recover his hearing this year and regain his mobility. Or just his hearing. We could only communicate to him through writing in a white board. I hope this will happen the next time I see him.

As I go back to Manila because our Christmas Break is about to end, I bid goodbye to him and he high-fived me. 

That is the most touching High-Five I ever got in my life.